Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Feeling a bit sad tonight as January is a very difficult month for me. I lost my dad when I was just 21 and he died on January 10. Those many years ago my mom was left to fend for herself and she moved back to Massachusetts where I am originally from. My mom was an amazing woman. They put the wrong drops in her eyes when she was born and scarred her corneas. So she was legally blind her entire life. She was so independent though. She graduated college at the top of her class and became a legal secretary. When she moved back home she asked no one for help and lived by herself until her eyesight became so bad it was nearly impossible for her to live alone. We finally convinced her to move in with us. We enjoyed her company for 18 months and on January 14,2008 she became very sick and I had to call 911. She was admitted to the hospital and was finally diagnosed with leukemia. She was transferred to hospice care 5 days later. And on January 28 as I was stroking her head and holding her hand she stopped breathing. My birthday is January 17 and our sons birthday is on the 29th. I know my parents are in a better place and I try so hard to not feel sorry for myself. But I have a hole in my heart so deep I can physically feel it. Yes, I have my faith in God. I have a wonderful family...a supportive and loving husband,2 sons, a beautiful gd,2 sisters (although they live in MA), and my dear Aunt(my moms sister). I too have 2 dogs who are loyal as the days are long.And friends. But....no one can fill that void of not having a mom or dad. Not a day has gone by that I don`t feel that loss. So if you  are fortunate enough to still have yours please give them a hug and tell them how much they mean to you. And I do want all of you who have been so kind to me at Splitcoast...encouraging my work and reaching out to me just how much it has meant to me. So thank you. SCS has truly been a Godsend to me and has kept me occupied and kept me going on days I did not feel like getting out of bed. Blessings and love to you all. Judi

6 comments:

  1. My dear Judi - thank you so much for opening your heart and your story to us. I can only imagine how proud your parents must feel looking down on you right now :) What a special and beautiful person they raised! It is such a blessing to have the kind of love you described during our time on this planet. Your parents sound like incredibly special people and it is a pleasure to get to know them, if even for a little while, through you. Thank you for sharing yourself and your creativity with us!!!!! Love to you too!!!!!!!

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  2. So...what if some little birdies were interested in sending a special person a card for their birthday??? Where might those little birdies send those cards? :)

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  3. Judi - I'm so sorry to hear that you lost both of your parents!!! I can not even imagine how you feel and I wish I could give you a big hug right now!!! Continue trusting in our Lord and Savior and you know that you will be reunited with your parents!!!

    Big hugs ~S~

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  4. Hi Judi,
    I meant to leave a reply to this yesterday - but I'm useless at knowing what to say. Certainly, once your mother is gone, it's the end of something and life is never the same again. I am sorry January is so difficult for you. We had three family birthdays three days in a row - my dad (today, my sister and my mother, and since she died, I know it's been difficult for Dad especially. I tried so hard to get him to send my sistereven just a card for her fortieth - without success. I have to admit that my fortieth, which was the year after mum died, was pretty tough! So hugs to you...

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  5. I am sending out huge blogland hugs to you today.. I know that this is so difficult. My mom died when I was young and the pain will be in my heart forever. I hope that you can find some comfort in knowing that they are together looking down on you and showering you with their heavenly love. They are in the perfect place. No pain, hate, hunger or unhappiness. Just pure love. I hope that the sun shines all week to make you feel better. I want to also set up a coffee date.. I will be thinking about you and praying for you during this difficult time..huge hugs.
    Dawn

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  6. (((hugs))) Your parents sound like amazing people. I think that the depth of your pain mirrors the depth of love you shared with your parents. Rejoice in that!

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